Before I begin this, I must point out that with any social media post that I see, I read it and take the time to read between the lines and try to look at the hidden message. Most ‘outrages’ are born not through a direct affiliate to the cause, but more with how they are feeling emotionally at the time.
I truly believe that’s why most arguments evolve through social media as many different hindrances are not in plain site – i.e what they post is hidden with emotion and not a direct message. As the hidden message get’s ignored and people question the emotion, people see this as an attack on them personally. It’s like arguing with someone that’s drunk. The true context gets lost.
Pain & frustration rather that non-emotional dialect and debate!
Now, onto the subject at hand.
I came across a post that I read today on Twitter which resonated with me for various reasons.
It came from a someone who was in her 40’s who outlined that her life was still in ruins due to her father mistreating her back when she was a child. It was clear that she was still in contact with him as her reference was from a recent conversation that she had with him.
The post went on via many sub-posts. It began with her outlining that all the problems in her life stemmed from her father and how he treated her – both now and in her more prominently in childhood.
I took the time to read through each section as I wanted to try and get to the core of what she was saying. I learn a lot about myself when I do this as I begin to see what the post says, what the emotion says and how I have a tendency to want to say and post based on my emotions and not what I think.
Emotional posts are something I have an experience, I won’t shy away from that. A while back I posted some things on social media that I later regretted – most prominently I posted about my ex on social media (on my public account where we all share the same circle of friends and family) about what she was doing to restrict access from my daughter due to an argument we were both having based on emotion and control rather than resolution and progression. Both of us were responsible for this.
Rather than put my emotions aside and address the problem through patience and logic, I acted on my emotions and the need for confirmation (fake support through Facebook as it happens), I made the situation worse!
So back to the post in mention.
As I read through it, I began to see anger, rage and resentment. She was clearly upset about her father and the recent actions of her father that sparked the initial post initially.
HOWEVER (and the ultimate message of this post), as I began to read and analyse properly what she was saying, it became clear that her pain was with where she was personally, AT THAT TIME IN HER LIFE!
This got me thinking.
How many people are holding themselves back by blaming others?
It can be too easy for us to hold our past experiences (or any other shit for that matter) for not achieving what we wanted. It’s easy to blame others for the fact that our lives haven’t turned out as we expected or where we ‘wish’ they should (could) be?
Take a moment to read through posts on social media and take the time to read between the lines. Is the post based on emotion, blame or foresight?
It’s crazy how many times you see it!
As I said, I speak from experience as I have done this myself. Yet once I take emotions out of the equation, my actions moving forward is progressive towards my future rather than self-destructing.
If you use your experiences to your advantage and put the past IN THE PAST, we grow. What’s more, we grow together.
I understand that some people will read this and have all kinds of comments for me. I put money on it that it those comments will be in the form of negativity rather than questions to exchange ideas on growth – excuses in other words. If this is you, I’ll put my integrity on the line and ask you the same question:
Is it your past holding you back… or YOU?
I guarantee your response will be one of two.
You will either agree with me,
come up with EVERY excuse in the book.
Putting this aside for the minute, let me say this: Your actions now and the future ahead relies on one thing… YOU!
You could spend the next 10, 20, 40, 80 years blaming others for the shitty life you have.
You could start doing stuff to GET the life that’s possible. The future is unwritten!
The only thing that determines what your story holds is what story you tell. Is it one of pity, or progress?
What you do now, tomorrow and everyday day moving forward is how your story is told. Is it one of blame… or action?
If you read my posts you will understand that I’m pretty clear about a couple of things. Your life on this wonderful planet if fucking MINUTE. Will you CHOOSE to live it miserably… or exceptionally?
The choice (unless your being held to a ransom of course and no, not emotionally) is TOTALLY UP TO YOU!
Stop putting the blame on your past and start creating your future. It’s an untold story that has the possibility of being a fucking fantastic one. You only get one go at this. Don’t waste it!
Here’s the thing: Blaming others only puts them in control of you.
You are in control of you… no one else!
If you don’t agree with me, I get it. Trust me. But if you take your emotions out of the equation, chances are (in fact I guarantee it) you will agree with me.
If there is some heavy story behind you and your history has been pretty darn shitty, use it to your advantage. If this is what makes you, you, then USE IT!
Tell your story and do so with hope and integrity because a lot more people will see this and become inspired themselves. Don’t ruin your unwritten future through. No one has better experience in helping others in similar situations than you who have been in that exact same shitty place. That’s your history!
Tell your story and own it. Don’t let it own you.