Recently I’ve realised that things haven’t been good. I’ve not really been in a good place with myself. Where I am from a mental, business & financial perspective as well as how I see myself as a father, friend and… a person. Don’t get me wrong, I know we all go up and down in the scale of moods. What’s different is I’m beginning to truly understand what makes me happy… truly happy. Moreover (and truly the most important aspect of this), I’m beginning to analyse and see when I’m feeling great and when I’m not – and what has brought me the state in question.
Now (and as I say with most of the posts I write), this isn’t a dig or rant to anyone but myself. This is me coming to terms with who I am, what makes me tick and what the hell I need to do in order to not only turn things around but to truly make something of myself to the point that I can stop avoiding looking into the mirror on a daily basis and stare myself right in the eye and be proud of what looks back at me. However, in order to do this, I need to look at that shameful face and come to terms with a few things. Primarily that I’m not happy with what I see and in order to not avoid my own eye contact every time I see a mirror in the corner of my eye, is to face a few truths.
1) Come to terms with where you are at
I have so many ideas and thoughts almost constantly on where I think I should be. And sometimes that makes me self sabotage myself. Not being where I wish I was in life, I begin feeling down and look for any excuse to do anything instead of anything. Sounds crazy when I write it down but that’s the ultimate truth. When I look at where I’m not, instead of taking steps to work towards something (and any steps is progress), I start feeling sorry for myself. I get scared with how far I am from this other idea of myself and rather than tackle things head on, I look for any excuse to self-sabotage and instead of moving forward (no matter what speed), I essentially go backwards. Which brings me to the next point.
2) Any progress is exactly that… PROGRESS!
Let’s look at what I said previously: if I’m not doing something positive towards my goal, I’m doing either nothing and something that gets me further from my goal. Before I begin, this isn’t to be confused with taking time for yourself. We all need time to refocus and relax. But sometimes (in fact most of the time), there is shit to do. you can either run away from it and come up with every excuse there is. Or (and this is the ultimate fucking OR), you could start doing the shit that needs doing. The universe is based upon entropy – a degree of disorder meaning that it’s measurement goes either one of two ways. Same goes for yourself because let’s face it and be humble for a second – we are neither less nor more important than the universe and the same goes for how it works. If we aren’t progressing then we are going only one other way – BACKWARDS!
I have found myself (more times than I can remember), feeling sorry for myself and spending days watching shit that I had no interest in. I would wake up, think of things that I needed to do and then run away – either mentally, physically or both. I would have thought of something that needed doing and then instantly look for something to take my mind off it. It’s OK, I can do it tomorrow, right? Yes, but if you are looking for an excuse not too do it then either it’s not right for you, or your scared of progress (or more the person you think you can become).
So which way is it going to be? Don’t think for a second that this can be taken lightly. This is something that is constant. So make it work in your favour.
3) Stop Being Afraid Of What You Could Become
This is something that you might relate to or maybe you don’t. I’ll put money on that you can certainly relate to this though. Look, we’re all bloody scared of the unknown and sometimes it’s easier to get in the way of our dreams in order to not be disappointed. As much as you can relate to that sentence, read it again. Read it over and over and see how fucking crazy that idea is. Being so afraid of our dreams that we’ll do whatever it takes to get in the way to the point that we feel down so much that we would rather be disappointed than (and her’es the ultimate and perfect word) proud!
I could go over this by giving examples upon examples. But you and I no this to be insanely true.
Although the original point was to stop being afraid of what could be, it should be STOP RUNNING AWAY from what could be.
4) Get planning
Here’s the thing, if you don’t start putting a plan in place then you are going to be pretty bloody miserable. If you are reading this, then you are certainly in that mindset of not feeling great about yourself and unless you start planning shit then nothing is going to get done. Plan everything and start getting detailed for the days and weeks ahead. Look exactly what needs doing and schedule it in. Stop having all these great ideas and doing fuck all about them. Schedule it in and bloody execute that shit.
Don’t be afraid either. The more you do it, the better you’ll get at it. Feel overwhelmed? Start small and build up. Whatever the case, have an overall to do list but get detailed with what you are going to do with the week. Look at each day of the week ahead and break it down into blocks and fill them accordingly.
Don’t be an idiot though like I have done many times. It’s important to be realistic with yourself. It’s great having all these great ideas of doing everything in one day. But the more you don’t do off the list, the more you’ll feel bad and ultimately not do what’s on the list. Fill in time for family, yourself and your goals ahead.
5) Keep at it
Look, you aren’t going to conquer things overnight. It just won’t (and doesn’t) happen regardless of what you read or see on the internet (unless something drastic happens). In order to progress, you need to do many things and repeatedly. You aren’t going to suddenly think ‘yes, this is it’ and things just become great. You have to work constantly on the overall goal of self-development and keep at it. sometimes you’ll think your progressing and other times you might not. However, if you constantly keep at it, regardless of how big the task at hand might be, you are moving forward and that is certainly better than going back.
I understand some of you might be reading this and thinking ‘yeah sure, easy for you to say’. Here’s the thing, I’m saying this to myself. I write this knowing fully that this is what I need to do (CONSTANTLY).
More often than not (in fact being honest, 99.9% of the time), I feel great when I make progress. In order to make that, I need to do something anything) that helps achieve that feeling of progress and then the only way to do that is to do anything apart from nothing.