For many years, I used to worry…
I drove myself and everyone around me fucking insane!
From the moment I woke, I would worry about my health, what people would think of me, I worried about if I was going to get sacked from work.
You name it, I stressed myself out about it.
The funny thing is, I wasn’t always like that. I plot out (pretty much from when I was a child) a happiness chart that could track the levels right up to now and it has been up and down constantly.
Apart from when I was in school, my happiness and state of worry have always been dependent on one main factor.
I am happy when I push myself into unknown territory and I am unhappy when I don’t push myself and just as important when I do shit I know I shouldn’t be doing.
Let’s look at some examples:
Being in a relationship I KNEW wasn’t right for me… unhappy
Doing drugs, gambling and running away from responsibilities… unhappy
Making a plan and then doing absolutely none of it… unhappy
Hanging around with people I don’t like… un-fucking-happy
The crazy thing is we all know this.
Yet we all do the opposite of what we know we should be doing
The truth is, to be truly happy, you have to be honest with yourself and face your fears. You have to willing to put yourself on a pedestal and risk failing in order to achieve something and be the very best version of yourself.
For the most part, we are simply scared. Scared of ridicule because we get caught up in worrying what people would think and judge ourselves unnecessarily.
Yet when we push all that aside and stop doing things that pisses us off about ourselves, we start a momentum that quickly propels us into something we never thought possible. The best part, you only have to work on today… that’s it. Just one fucking day!
Forget about tomorrow.
Most certainly forget about yesterday!
Don’t compare yourself to who you were or who you think you have become.
Instead, look at what you could achieve with a little work!
Anyone can turn things around so long as you make a conscious effort to put in the work REGARDLESS of how you feel.
Start today. Start everyday
Work on the NOW!
The problem that most of us face is we spend a day working on ourselves and expect everything to change overnight.
Spoiler alert… it doesn’t.
When we take the time to work on ourselves one day at a time, the next day becomes slightly easier. Only slightly mind but it becomes easier to manage so long as you put in the effort NOW!
You need to work on yourself again and again in order to reap the benefits of being the potential that could bring about a happy and fulfilling version of yourself!
The cycle repeats and with patience and persistence, the effects snowball…
But only if you stay committed to working on yourself today
Here are a few tips that can help you tackle each day one at a time.
Step 1: Ask yourself ‘What’s the worst that can happen?’
Some of you may get a little frustrated with this (and the other tips) but the fact is, they help you put things into perspective and most importantly… They work!
Before I started putting in the effort to work hard and take control of my life, I used to worry about what people would think if I did something out of my ordinary routine of self-sabotage.
I knew what I needed to do in and out of work in order to not just get by, but to excel at my job, personal life and get my finances in a place where I didn’t have to worry about when the next payday was.
It was insane as I knew the possibilities. Yet I ran away from the responsibilities due to fear of being ridiculed.
I lost count of how many times I would see a girl with a beautiful smile and instead of just going up to her and saying hi, I would play every scenario in my head of ‘what could go wrong’ and before I knew it, she was gone!
I knew how to save money, yet I would piss all my wages up against the wall as I was scared and ran away and hid from my problems instead of tackling them head-on.
I was unfit and constantly unwell. I put off going to the gym, joining a class for a new sport I fancied trying or going for a run as I didn’t want to be the fat guy that everyone ridiculed.
Now when I see someone overweight doing exercise, I feel proud of them because they are doing exactly what I didn’t and doing what is necessary and not giving a fuck about what anyone else thinks!
Why go the extra mile at work, only to get it wrong and be punished by my boss?
Why step up when something comes up at the office, only for my colleagues to ridicule me behind my back when I inevitably got it wrong?
The moment I began implementing the thought process of ‘What’s the worst that can happen?’, things began to change… quickly!
So what that I’m the most unfit person in the gym.
So what if the girl I ask on a date says no.
What’s the worst that can happen?
They say no and secretly laugh at me?
So fucking what!
I feel great for getting out of my comfort zone and giving it a shot!
That’s what bloody matters!
Because every time I don’t step out into the unknown, I feel shitty about myself for not trying and that is not acceptable anymore to me!
Just ask yourself… what if!
In fact, forget the what-if and go for it FFS! You absolutely deserve it!
Step 2: Stay busy
The more you do, the more your mind is occupied. It’s a really simple paradox.
That isn’t only why it works though.
The routine allows you to be prepared to already do what you are constantly doing when the shit hits the fan. The routine of doing it regardless drives you forward on a daily basis and the more you continue the cycle, the less effort it takes to continue.
It’s insanely powerful once you get into it and it gets easier and easier the more you keep going. It is the by-product of step one because as you tackle each day one at a time, you begin building a routine that, over time, organically compounds itself into something substantial in your life.
Before you know it, you are doing things on autopilot regardless of how much or how little you want to do it.
Now don’t think for one second that I’m writing this underminingly, expecting everyone to read this and implement it with absolute ease.
Trust me when I say I know how fucking hard it is.
But that’s no reason not to do it, is it!?
You will fail.
Again and again!
You will fall off the momentum train and crash heavily sometimes. But the more you pick yourself up, take yourself back to step one and begin the processes again immediately, that’s another moment you feel great about yourself.
You pick yourself up, get back into doing the shit you know you don’t want to do, you notice yourself becoming more and more disciplined.
There is no overnight fix
There is no magic potion that will make everything OK
You have to put in the work
The important thing is to not give up at the first, second third and every other hurdle that get’s in your way.
Life can throw some absolute shite on you at times and the more you are prepared with routine and disciplne, the better you become at handling all the bullshit that comes along.
All of us are cabable at doing this.
Every fucking one of us!
We just need to pick ourselves up and carry on doing the shit that we don’t feel like doing.
Before long, YOU become unstoppable!
Step 3: Don’t try and tackle everything at once!
Around 5 years ago, I began looking at my life and realising that I was just running away from shit.
I had dreams
Big fucking dreams!
But the reality was that despite all these ideas of making it (my perception of making it), I still kept fucking up… big time!
This was down to a multitude of reasons.
Yes, my relationship was shitty, my health was bad and I didn’t really understand who I was at that time and became lost on what I needed to do to turn things around. So I kept trying everything and tried doing everything at once.
Although there was a lot of crap in my life at the time, this wasn’t the reason I was in a bad place, but more a by-product of it all. It’s important to realise that those things are the reason you are not achieving your goals.
I didn’t see it like that though and as a direct result of this (not the reason) I gambled, took drugs and drank heavily while avoiding friends and family in the process.
I became lost as I hid in my own world of doubt and self-pity
I had all these big ideas though so I began trying to implement them. The problem was not the amount of ideas I had but the fact that I tried to make a go of them all at once.
Imagine trying to start 10 businesses at once
I came up with software platforms (4 different ones), began trying my hand at trading, set up blogs (I think I had around 7 on the go at once), was working full-time and also tried to set up an affiliate marketing business.
All at the same time and believe me, when I say, it was a shambles!
Not only that but my daughter had just been born.
I was trying to juggle my time, mind and energy in to that many thinngs that the reality was I was devoting no attention to all of them.
This went on for a few years before I realised one thing…
You have to be ALL IN!
To do that, you have to be specific about what you want.
Last year, I began only allowing my attention to three things during any 3-month rotation. I would look at what I want over the next 3 months, ensure they line up with my long-term goals and work ONLY on them 3 things at any given period.
The first three things I went all in with was:
- Lose 10% of my total body fat
- Source customers for a new business I had started
- Make sure I was all-in at my current full-time job during office hours.
The only time I would deviate from these was when I had my daughter. Other than that, I would plan each week and split each day into 5 sectioons and be specific about what I do in each of those time slots on each of those days.
You know what?
Things started to improve!
I got a raise at work. The business started building up its client-base and although I’m not yet at the level of fitness I am aiming for, the improvement (and even more so) the level in which things are moving forward is insanely addictive!
When 3 months pass, I evaluate and set the next 3 months.
I keep it that simple and because of that, it works!
Step 4: Respect Your Fucking Finances
Let’s face it, many of us work our asses off only to spend every fucking penny of our earnings on shit we don’t need in order to feel momentarily good about ourselves.
How shockingly insane is that!
I spent many of my years in this cycle:
- Work in a job I hate
- Come home and medicate myself to forget and pretend I was OK
- Wait for payday so that I can repeat the process of spending everything I had on nonsense and shite
- Payday comes and I’m instantly hitting the bookies, bars and nightclubs
- Feel like shite, go back to work skint and repeat
Every month this happened and every month I was overwhelmingly depressed.
Something had to change!
I would look at others who looked like they had my version of what success is and I would be angry and annoyed that they got what I didn’t have.
I was jealous of others because they had what I wanted.
I would convince myself that they must have been handed it to them on a plate!
I couldn’t have been further from the truth.
The reality is that most successful people have worked their bollocks and ovaries off, made sacrifices and put in the grind to achieve EXACTLY what they want.
If you want things to improve, you will have to get off your arse and go for it!
It’s that fucking simple!
Also, putting in all the work but then spending all the rewards on anything and everything is the surefire route to feeling bad again as you will quickly become unmotivated.
Properly analyse where your money is going each month.
Look at your statements and be brutally critiacal about what is a necessity and what is filling your ego.
Be bloody vigilant with it because you work damn hard for it.
You’ve heard the saying that money is the root of all evil? If you agree with this statement then change your attitude quickly because that is the route to always being broke.
Learn to respect money and what it can do for you!
Keep pushing yourself to be the very best you can be
Because you know what?
You only get one shot at life!